Just some random things I’ve heard or thought about since I started my lifestyle change. I hate that term… more on that later this week.
Ok just so we’re clear I’m not going to become anorexic and for what it’s worth, I’ve whipped anorexia’s ass . That being said, eating is a tremendous pain in my ass. It’s like hanging out with the guy that kicked the living hell out of you in a bar fight…three to four times a day. I know what you’re thinking, “it’s not the food that made you gain weight Pav, it’s you.” You’re absolutely right, but that doesn’t make it any less painful shoving food down the same cakehole “I” shoved too much or the wrong kinds of food down for years. Eating is a daily reminder of my sins. Well one sin, the other sins will remain in Tijuana.
Ok so eating is a pain in the ass, but the upside to the equation is I love the cooking process. I don’t mean I love getting out the pots and pans for play time although I like that too, I mean the whole process. I go to the grocery store with zero plans and wing it. I enjoy picking out everything from vegetables to protein and in the process have thrown together some pretty damned good plates. I know, I sound perkier than an eighteen year old girl in a freezer factory but I can’t help myself. It’s challenging to go to a store filled with more junk food than a McDonald’s distribution center, and come out making something that’s not trying to kill me. I love a challenge, but then of course… I’ve got to eat it.
Someone suggested “it might help to weigh or measure your food.” I’ve been on those diets and I’ve cheated every last one of them. Oh so I can have a cup of chicken, well there’s a good amount of space in between those cubes so it must mean two cups of chicken. This recipe calls for three ounces of beef, but I see it was written by a woman who obviously needs fewer calories than me. I do physical labor, just yesterday I typed eight hundred words, bought a bag of ice then walked halfway across the parking lot to the liquor store because all the good spaces were taken…I need sustenance! Thanks anyway, I’ll stick to throwing my stuff together and when I’ve put enough on the plate… that’s enough. I’ve lied to myself long enough to know I’m not a very good liar, and I should learn to trust me.
“Wouldn’t it be easier to do the points diet?” I’ve done the point thing and I always found it amazing how I could justify needing extra points, lying about how many I used and lying about how many I banked. I once figured thirty two ounces of frozen mudslide complete with booze and chocolate around the inside of the glass to be (For those keeping track of points) about five points because it’s mostly ice and it’s not like I can lick the chocolate from the inside of the glass…right?! If I want points I’ll take my money down to a local bookie and put it all on me minus the points because I’m just flat out gonna beat this weight thing’s ass. Anybody putting money on Pavlov getting points should know, that is a sucker bet. I’d probably just take the points and apply them to a bowl of seven layered dip and a bag of tortilla chips. Happy eating!