Food Pushers vs Dieting

The best part about my new deal is having total control over what I do for exercise and what I put into my body in terms of food. It’s really kind of liberating to know I have the power to say no when considering healthy versus non-healthy choices. That said there are some folks out there who are going to try to be helpful, in the same manner Bernie Madoff was helpful in holding on to other people’s money so they didn’t spend it foolishly on things like retirement accounts. I lovingly refer to these people as food pushers.

It is a great day for a family reunion, lots of folks in attendance, sun is shining, lots of fun, tons of food and plenty of people making sure you tried their “world renowned” (fill in the blank) that you love so much every year. My mom is from a traditional French-Canadian Catholic family of fifteen from northern VT. This is where summers were spent outdoors trying to collect as much from the garden to can where hopefully it would last through the winter, or apparently what my grandfather thought of as…breeding season.

I love all my aunts dearly so let’s put that on the table first. They are a batshit crazy lot who tell it like it is without hesitation (in a house of fifteen people if you’re not heard you go hungry) but would do anything for you. This works well until you get them together, add “their” food to the equation and try explaining about your “dietary change”. It’s like explaining quadratic equations to a two year old except the two year old would come back with, “aww all this new math is shit, go ahead and do some simple addition and you’ll be fine.”

Looking at my choices I have two, garden salad and corn on the cob. The meat every year is decided on by a committee  and apparently the committee doesn’t meet very often because it’s been hot dogs and hamburgers since Van Halen put out Jamie’s Cryin some 35 years ago. I’m ok with just salad and corn on the cob, but this is going to be harder to slip by family members as they take pride in their lovingly prepared baked beans, cole slaw, chop suey and other family favorites. I myself love them but they just don’t cut it in my world right now.

Look, not everybody has food pushers in their lives but when you do, be a better friend to yourself and just be up front and say no. This is a test, a test you already know the answer to so it should be a slam dunk one hundred percent with a gold star. The downside is if you get the answer wrong not only is it a fail, but you also get reminded of your failure when you’re cleaning mustard stains off your shirt. Wish me luck at the annual crazy convention!


Week 7 and feeling fine total lost thus far is 40 lbs. (For my Euro-friends that’s one of those rental bicycles and 6 herring minus the onion and mayo)


4 thoughts on “Food Pushers vs Dieting

    • I was too Mel… I finally got tired of it. You look fine… just be honest with yourself and you’ll get to where you want to go. Thanks for reading and hope to see you Wed.

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