Body Image- or – WTF happened?!

The Cat was sitiing and staring out the window while downing cat treat after cat treat and looking listlesly into the shadows of the night. “Don’t you get tired of sitting all fat dumb and happy looking out into the night?” his reply… “Don’t you get tired of watching me?” Touché my furry friend… Touché!

I’ve recently started dating a young lady that I’ve somehow tricked into liking me… by being myself. I say tricked into liking me but in all honestly I have done nothing…absolutely nothing. My friends are convinced I have turned to alternative methods of dating ranging from hypnosis to “roofies.” In the end, she genuinely seems to like me for whatever misplaced reason, and for this I am grateful. This being said, it led to panic with regard to body image.

“Where do I go from here?!” I mean I’ve lost the better part of a small water buffalo worth of weight and now I have the resulting side effects of weight loss. Mainly bingo wings and a stomach that is 6 muscles shy of a six-pack. When I first started this lifestyle change I remembered thinking, “If only I could lose the weight, I would be so much happier!” For the record, I am. That being said there is the regret I feel for not having done as much working out as I should have.

I now know I have the workout habits of a skinny man who is content in eating his body weight in spam and ding dongs. In my defense I have been working 80-90 hours a week and the only time I get away from work is to shuffle off to the coast for some quality time with the fair maiden that I’ll henceforth call…Juliet. Heretofore, forthwith, et al…something, et cetera…nevermind. After that the question remains, when do I find the time to work out?

I have heard people say “I’m busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest” and thought, excuses, excuses… Now here I stand using the same excuse and for the first time in forever, I have no defense and, both legs besides. Is it better to spend 10 minutes in the morning doing the usual sit-ups and push-ups, or is it better to get myself a gym membership that I use but 1-2 times a week?

I understand I need to do more cardio, I understand I need to get more in the way of weight training, but finding the time just doesn’t seem to be fitting into my already busy schedule. How do busy people find the time to do the things they know are necessary to stay, or in my case, get, into shape? Am I just making excuses? I am positive I know the answers to both of these questions, but I think what I need is a wake-up call and some tough love.

What are your strategies for staying in shape? How do you motivate yourself to get up earlier or go to a gym after a 14-16 hour day? Keep in mind Juliet hasn’t asked me to do a thing but rather, common sense has compelled me to want to do something for the betterment of my physical well being, so that I may spend many more years tormenting her and more importantly… The Cat (just don’t tell her). Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.


3 thoughts on “Body Image- or – WTF happened?!

  1. If you have an office with a door, you’re golden. Just shut the door for half an hour or so at lunch. Squats, lunges, push-ups, with lands both close and wide, sit-ups with your ankles on top of a chair. Knees apart. As you rise up, bring your knees together. These are office equipmentless standards that work beautifully.

    You’re welcome.

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